Many of us know that on the 8^th of March every year, the world celebrates International womens’ day. Some even joke about separating just one day for women, and saying thus all the other days of the year are for men! 

So, how many of you are aware of International Men’s Day? 

Every year, on the 19^th of November, highlighting the positive difference men bring into the world, International Men’s day is being celebrated globally. One main objective of this day is to raise awareness of the mental health of men, which is not quite spoken in the spotlight. 

According to studies, the male population in the world as of 2021 is said to be 3.930 billion, which represents 50.42% of the total global population. And disproving the common believes, according to the World Health Organization, more than twice as many males die due to suicide as females. And this rate is generally found out to be higher among the males who live in high-income countries. And if u dig a little deeper into social analysis, it is surprising to find out that the lives of men are not as privileged as it seems!

Researches have found out several crucial socio-mental issues they are carrying, such as men being less likely to have deep friendships, men being more prone to drug addiction and alcoholism, high likelihood of being homeless, etc. In addition to these factors, even the booming social inclination towards feminism is seen to be leaving men feeling under-represented.

It never seems like these issues are acknowledged openly as ‘real issues’ by men themselves because the outer cover of them is painted quite rigidly with solid colors of ‘‘toxic masculinity’’, which is another leading force that has successfully kept threatening your father, brother, lover, and friend for centuries. 

So, this year, the theme for International Men’s Day is “Better health for men and boys”, understanding the timely need for this topic to be discussed on a larger scale. Several renowned organizations such as UNESCO have given active support to the celebration of this day, and on the 19^th of November public seminars, panel discussions, lectures, award ceremonies, art exhibitions and a number of other activities are being carried out globally to bring attention to this day’s course.

As much as it is important to be globally discussed, it would be quite great if all of us can contribute to achieving the objective of this day individually. Now you probably must be wondering, how can we? 

Maybe we can start is from within our homes. Or most effectively, as the counterpart of women empowerment.

As mentioned earlier, to most of the tragic experiences men have had to go through for ages, the root cause has been toxic masculinity. In simple terms, toxic masculinity refers to the cultural pressure which makes men believe that they have to act in a certain way to be recognized as a man. And that certain way is, perpetuating manliness with aggression, domination, and emotionlessness- which is quite sad. Since the birth of a little boy, he is expected to be delivered greater things than others, which kind of pressures them from the beginning. He is often subjected to comparison and sometimes put into an unhealthy competition to be better.

It is very common for guys to hear that ‘’boys should not cry’’, ‘’boys should not like flowers or pretty little things’’, ‘’boys should be rough and tough’’ since childhood, and even though they just seem like simple sentences, eventually a man with a suppressed mind would be released to the society. He might not be given the chance to live the life he desires, rather than that, he would be pressured to live up to someone else’s expectations. And this would often lead men to be more stressed, in different stages of life, and having been programmed not to express emotions or denied to ask help, they often end up choosing to give up on life. 

Going back to the point of starting from home, rather than looking at him just like a different creature came to save the world, if parents can look at a boy as a human, a human with human emotions and needs as everyone else, it would construct a solid safe ground for men to stand on. 

On the other hand, even though it is the common picture to see females being the victims of gender discrimination, sometimes men too are subjected to it. For instance, domestic and sexual abuse happens to all genders. Sadly, according to the GLA Conservative group study, 96% of sexual crimes against men go unreported.

Men are not encouraged by society to come forward and speak for their rights, because such actions would be seen as weak by many. Not to mention the lower trust people have in the legal system. In most cases, men are prone to be treated as second-class victims, and being treated with low seriousness has discouraged men to seek help. Living under the constant immense pressure to show as if everything is okay is undoubtedly onerous of all.

It is now not quite surprising to hear about the higher rate of suicides by men when finally, society can understand how much of a greater effect the habit of letting negative emotions and burdens be bottled up for years would have. 

Coming to the second point, since women empowerment and speaking up more to ensure women rights and eradicate violence against women is taken into account with serious concern at the moment, if the community can encourage men not to be caged inside the stereotypical masculinity, as the counterpart campaign of discrimination against women, both the objectives of having a better world for females and having better lives for men could certainly be brought about. Because once again, oftentimes, it is the very same toxic masculinity the serpent who not only vandalizes men but also be responsible for the hellish ordeal females have to go through.

Ultimately, “better mental health for men and boys” would certainly have a substantial significance deeper than we see from the façade, supporting all the efforts of humankind for a better future.

Let’s spread the message that men are not alone and most importantly, that their silence is being heard.

Happy International Men’s Day to all the wonderful men out there!

Written by Rtr. Tinaya Wijethunge